


Stray Drabbles

by Beautiful_Doom



Series: Strays [3]
Category: A Heist With Markiplier (Web Series), CrankGameplays - Fandom, Sanders Sides (Web Series), Video Blogging RPF, Who Killed Markiplier? (Web Series), jacksepticeye, markiplier - Fandom, natewantstobattle
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Family, Fluff, Hurt, Some Swearing, lots and lots of egos, some violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-13 08:22:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 45
Words: 15,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28775247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beautiful_Doom/pseuds/Beautiful_Doom
Summary: A collection of drabbles set in my Strays verse featuring everyone's favorite egos!(tags will be added as needed)
Series: Strays [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2108574
Comments: 257
Kudos: 100





	1. Masochism Tango

_"I ache for the touch of your lips, dear. But much more for the touch of your whips, dear,”_ Wilford sang. _“You can raise welts like nobody else. As we dance to the Masochism Tango...”_

 _“Let our love be a flame, not an ember. Say it's me that you want to dismember,”_ Remus sang back. _“Blacken my eye. Set fire to my tie. As we dance to the Masochism Tango...”_

It was strange to think that the two most chaotic egos in the household would have decent singing voices, but they did. No doubt gotten from their creators. But Wilford and Remus loved to sing and dance with each other, and everyone let them as it never seemed to hurt anyone or anything. And Dr. Iplier would even say that it was good for them. Let’s them burn off all their excess energy.

Today’s song of choice was ‘The Masochism Tango’. Of course Wilford or Remus would know about these weird obscure songs...

 _“At your command, before you here I stand,”_ Wilford spun Remus around. _“My heart is in my hand. It's here that I must be...”_

 _“My heart entreats. Just hear those savage beats,”_ Remus clung to Wilford and wrapped one of his legs around him. _“And go put on your cleats, and come and trample me...”_

Wilford dipped Remus, and the green Side responded by giving a flirtatious look and running a finger down Wilford’s cheek.

 _“Your eyes cast a spell that bewitches. The last time I needed twenty stitches,”_ Wilford sang as he pulled Remus up and then spun him again. _“To sew up the gash that you made with your lash. As we danced to the Masochism Tango...”_

He pulled Remus close and then spun him around to wrap his arms around Remus’s waist from behind.

 _“Bash in my brain, and make me scream with pain. Then kick me once again. And say we'll never part,”_ Remus moved one hand to lay over Wilford’s and used the other to caress Wilford’s face. _“I know too well I'm underneath your spell. So, darling, if you smell something burning, it's my heart!”_

He conjured an actual heart that was on fire and then gave a shy giggle.

“Oh! ‘Scuse me!” He vanished the heart.

 _“Take your cigarette from its holder, and burn your initials in my shoulder,”_ Wilford sang, moving one of Remus’s hands up to rest on his shoulder. _“Fracture my spine, and swear that you're mine! As we dance to the Masochism Tango!”_

The song ended and they both posed.

There was a smattering of applause from the egos who were used to their antics as well as a few whistles.

“You two are mentally disturbed!” Googleplier called from where he was repairing the toaster.

“Oh!” Remus gasped and smiled. “Thank you!”


	2. Energy Drinks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I will start working on requests tomorrow. If anyone wants to request anything else, feel free to.

The night was as quiet as it could get. After all, several egos had their own nocturnal habits and made their own noise. But then one noise in particular rang out and split the silence in half.

A loud glitchy cackle.

Madpat had been relaxing on a couch and watching a movie (he was slowly getting his insomnia under control). He sat up when he heard the cackle and saw Dawktrap walk by. Dawktrap’s form was glitching slightly, but he was also twitching and his eyes were full of some kind of manic energy.

“What happened to you?” Madpat asked, looking concerned.

“I drank ten energy drinks!” Dawktrap said. “In one go!”

“Why?” Madpat asked. “I’m pretty sure if you were human, you’d have had a heart attack by now...”

“The Jims dared me to,” Dawktrap said, still practically vibrating with energy. “And I never decline a challenge. It's Lewis’s fault, I get it from him. Did you see how long he played 50/20 mode until he finally beat it?”

“Dude,” Security Nate entered the room. “We can hear you across the house. Are you ok? Do you need medical assistance?”

“I feel great!” Dawktrap shrieked. “I just... I need to leave.”

“Why do you need to leave?” Security Nate asked.

“I’m going to go... fight God!” Dawktrap said, putting his hands in the air.

“Do you even know who God is at this point?” Madpat asked, feeling amused by the whole thing.

“Yes!” Dawktrap pointed at him. “It’s William Afton!”

“William Afton is God?” Security Nate’s eyes widened. “Suddenly things make way more sense... But no one even knows where he is.”

“I do!” Dawktrap grinned. “He’s in room 1280!”

“1280?” Security Nate repeated.

“Wait...” Madpat said slowly. “No, he’s not there anymore. They took him to a warehouse thing, right? At the end?”

Dawktrap gasped and suddenly vanished, reappearing right next to Madpat.

“You read the books?” He asked. “He hath read the books! He knows the way...”

“Ok, I think you need to go to bed,” Madpat snorted.

“Never!” Dawktrap said. “I need to go fight Mr. Afton- _ACK!”_

He suddenly flinched and Madpat could see a blue blow dart sticking out of his neck. Dawktrap collapsed to the floor, and Madpat looked around to see who had shot him.

Googleplier was standing across the room, retracting some sort of gun back into his hand.

“I did it for his own safety,” he said. “Perhaps someone should take him to bed. He will wake up just fine in the morning..."


	3. Broadway Theft

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For M4R4N14MH. This took a bit of a turn, hope you don't mind. XD

Yancy and Roman were staring at each other in a way that almost looked as if they were trying to read each other’s mind. It was a tense stand off, but an important one.

“Count of three,” said Roman. ”And then we name the greatest song in Broadway history.”

“You get this wrong and I’m gonna punch youse,” Yancy warned. “Anyone with taste knows the best song...”

“Ready?” Roman asked. “Three, two, one...”

 _“Defying Gravity by Idina Menzel!”_ They both said at the first time.

Roman blinked. Yancy blinked.

“Yes!” Yancy yelled. “That’s the one! You know youse’s stuff!”

“Did... did we just become best friends?” Roman asked. “Did we really?”

“Youse gonna like being my friend,” Yancy grinned. “Best part of knowin’ how to break outta places... is it teaches you how to break into places too. The theatre downtown... I know how to break in. No tickets needed, all the Broadway we want for free...”

“What? Stealing from the theatre?” Roman looked offended. “I am appalled that you would expect an honorable prince like me to do such a lowly thing-”

“I can get us into a box,” Yancy said. “Right above the stage. Best acoustics in the house...”

Roman looked around carefully and then leaned forward.

“Phantom of the Opera is this Saturday,” he said. “You and me?”

“First hit’s free,” said Yancy. “After that, I expect a favor in return. Don’t worry, nothing too embarassin’. Put those talents of youse’s to good use...”

Roman thought about it. It was dishonest, it was cowardly, it was criminal...

It was also all that Roman could ever want...

“Deal,” he finally said. “But not a word to Patton. I’ll never hear the end of it...”

“Hey,” Yancy drew his fingers over his mouth. “These lips are sealed...”


	4. Panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For stay_hydr8ted. Warning for an almost panic attack

Virgil had been feeling itchy for a while. It was something that happened with his anxiety, his skin would crawl and get hot and itchy. He was sure it was because of how many people he was sharing this house with. Lots of people. Lots of loud people.

Virgil was on edge, and he was trying to search for a place to be alone and calm down. His room had felt too small and too stifling, but all the bigger areas were already occupied and far too noisy. His anxiety rose higher and higher as he continued to walk through the house to try to find a place for himself.

He was breathing harder now, shaking slightly, about ready to scream-

**“Virgil Sanders.”**

The voice seemed to come directly from his headphones, and his music abruptly stopped. There was a beat of silence and then soft piano music mixed with rain sounds came out of his headphones instead. Virgil froze in the middle of the hallway, internal panic still raging.

 **“Virgil Sanders will listen carefully and follow The Host’s instructions,”** said the voice. **“He will breathe and The Host will count. Virgil Sanders already knows the proper numbers...”**

Virgil did just that, matching his breathing to the voice’s counting. He closed his eyes as he did, and he soon felt himself sit down in a very comfortable arm chair, and something warm was pressed into his hands. He lifted the mug and tasted chamomile tea.

He kept listening, kept breathing, and felt himself slowly calming down, feeling almost pleasantly drowsy after a while.

When he finally opened his eyes, he saw that he was sitting in a room that had a warm fire going in the fireplace and no other lights on. Host smiled at Virgil from his desk and said nothing further.

Nothing else needed to be said. They both understood.


	5. Service Animal

All the egos were staring, but for once... Eric wasn’t all that bothered by it.

Mostly because he knew they weren’t staring at him.

“Eric...” Dark said “What on earth is _that?”_

Eric looked down at the... creature that sat next to him. It looked like a cross between a lion and a bear. It also had four eyes, jagged teeth, and very long tufted ears.

“It’s my service animal,” Eric said. “Remus made him for me. I named him Sprinkles.”

Sprinkles was tall enough that his head was higher than Eric’s waist. While he was sitting down.

“Service animal,” Dark slowly.

“Yeah, he helps me with my anxiety,” said Eric. “He makes me feel safe and when I have a panic attack, he sort of lies on me to help ground me. Like a big fluffy weighted blanket. I really like him!”

“Great,” Dark stared as Sprinkles yawned, showing how wide he could open his mouth. “Well... as long as you... clean up after him and he doesn’t hurt anyone, then he’s welcome here.”

“Thanks, Dark,” Eric smiled. “I’m glad you’re ok with him. Come on, Sprinkles. Let’s go get you something to eat...”

He walked off, taking the creature with him.

“I... I do not know what to say,” Dark said. “I mean... a service animal is good... but that _thing_ was no animal. It looks like something you check under a child's bed for.”

“And Eric loves him, so we’ll just have to get used to his presence,” Wilford said, sharpening one of his knives. “I think Sprinkles will be good for Eric.”

Dark glanced down the hall where Eric disappeared.

“I hope so...” he said.


	6. Gamer Reflexes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For MyMindIsDarkButItCanBeBrightForYou who requested Madpat and Shawn bonding

“If you’re wanting gamer reflexes, this is as good a place to start as any,” Madpat said as he and Shawn entered the arcade. “This is an arcade. It has games for all skill ranges and talents. I’m sure we can find something for you to play here...” 

“Wow,” Shawn looked around. “It’s so... colorful!” 

Indeed, there were lights flashing, bright LED screens showing previews of their games, music and sound effects blaring from various speakers, and so much more. 

“We had carnivals back in my day,” Shawn said as he followed Madpat further into the arcade. “But nothing like this. And most of those games were rigged to cheat you out your money...” 

“Well, these aren’t rigged,” Madpat chuckled. “And for you... I think you should start with a classic.” 

He gestured to the pacman game, and Shawn oohed over it. 

Shawn tried several different games, Madapt guiding him each time. Some he did better than others, but even when he lost Shawn was having the time of his life. Madpat gave him quarter after quarter, letting him play whatever caught his attention, and he even used his own skills at a few games to earn them the jackpot amount of tickets more than once. 

Shawn was once again in awe over the prize counter, the little toys and merchandise reminding him so much of toys and knick knacks he’d worked on for Joey Drew. Madpat ended up giving him all the tickets he’d won, and Shawn ended up leaving the prize counter with a teddy bear that was almost as big as he was. 

“Ooh, what’s this game?” Shawn asked. 

They had been on the way out, but it seemed that Shawn’s distracted nature once again reared its head. 

“CarnEvil,” Madpat said. “It’s a horror game. Creepy clown monsters, deadly carnival rides, lots of blood and violence.” 

“Sounds terrifying,” Shawn said. His face lit up and he bounced in place. “Let’s play it! I’m a pretty good shot.” 

Turns out, he wasn’t lying. 

Madpat was very accurate with the little toy gun due to his own pulse canon that he had created and perfected his skills with, but Shawn... Shawn’s hand was steady and his eye was sharp with each shot. It was uncanny. 

“Wow,” Madpat said after they had beaten the game and entered their initials for the new high score. “That was incredible. How did you get to be so good with a gun?” 

Shawn turned away as he put the toy gun back in the holster and picked up his bear again. 

“No reason,” he said. “Let’s go, it’s getting late...”


	7. Author's Note

Hello everyone! I am currently working on the prompts that you guys have sent me, but I wanted to let you guys know that this can be more than just drabbles. You can also ask for ‘deleted scenes’. This means that if there was something that was mentioned or referenced in my other two writings but did not actually appear, you can ask me to write it out here instead. 

Examples are: 

-When Shawn went back to Joey Drew Studios. 

-When Roman was captured 

-When Henrik found Blank and Phantom to help him get his documents. 

Anything that you guys want to see, let me know and I’ll write it out for you. Thank you all so much for reading and have a great day!


	8. Madpat's Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deleted scene for Blip

When he appeared, there was nothing but chaos.

Madpat inhaled sharply and wheezed a few times as he stumbled and fell to his knees. He looked around, seeing that he was in a forest. He was... confused. Where was he? Why was he here? Who even was he?

His mind was racing a mile a minute, hundreds of thoughts echoing and bouncing around, pounding at his skull like hammers. He shivered, realizing how cold it was, and that it was raining heavily. He zipped up his black leather jacket, but it only did so much against the elements. His muscles were tensing over and over, and his skin felt like it was crawling. Everything felt like it was all too much, like it was all so wrong...

 _It’s not cold enough for hypothermia,_ a thought rose above the rest, _but staying cold and wet for too long is not good for your health as viruses function and spread more efficiently in cold weather. Find shelter and then build a fire to warm up and dry off._

“Shelter?” Madpat repeated to himself. “Shelter where?”

He looked around. Maybe he’d luck out and find a cave or something...

Madpat started walking, trying to find somewhere to build his fire, but the sun was quickly going down and he was losing light fast. He needed to hurry. He stumbled almost blindly through the woods, having no idea where he was going. His mind continued to get louder and louder and began to throb painfully.

Great, a migraine was just what he needed right now. Of course the cold rain and loud booming thunder wasn’t helping...

The sun was nearly set now, and it was almost impossible to see. The temperature had plunged even more, and Madpat was soaked through to the bone. He was scared, he was so scared. What was he going to do if he couldn’t see? What would he even do in the morning? He was alone. What if he never got out of the woods?

By the time darkness set in, Madpat was barely moving. He couldn’t stop shivering, and his head was in agony, still buzzing with too many thoughts.

“Enough!” He shouted at the top of his lungs. “Shut up! Just shut up!”

He slipped and tumbled down a hill, groaning in pain when he hit the bottom. He almost wanted to just lie there and cry. He was in so much pain and he was so scared and confused...

Lightning flashed, and Madpat’s eyes widened. In the brief light, he saw a small cabin up ahead. Giggling hysterically, he ran through the darkness, feeling his way around until he felt the side of the cabin. He followed it to the door and turned the knob.

It was unlocked.

Madpat opened the door and stepped inside. He felt around for a light switch and quickly flipped it, shutting the door behind him. The light came on, revealing a small living room with a table and a kitchenette to the side.

Madpat stumbled over to the fireplace and quickly tossed some of the nearby logs inside. He lit them with some matches on the mantle and sighed in relief as the fire grew and began to warm him up. When he had feeling back in his hands, he went to the cabinets and found some crackers. He suddenly realized how hungry he was, and he eagerly tore into them, washing them down with tap water. He carried his box of crackers to the fireplace and curled up in front of it with a thick blanket that had been draped over the couch.

He had shelter, he had water, he had a fire, he had food.

So what now?

Sure, he was ok for now, but eventually he was going to run out of food and would need to get more. He would need to figure out what to do now that he was suddenly thrust into this world. His creator... well, Matpat wasn’t technically his creator, was he? The fans had created him. Did he even have his name right? He recalled that they had given him two...

Madpat slumped over and sighed. Everything was so confusing, and he was so tired. He’d just... he’d just sleep a little. He’d figure it out in the morning. The blanket and the fire were so warm and comfortable...


	9. Madpat's Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's a deleted scene I bet you guys didn't see coming. XD

What happened?

Madpat remembered Unus and Annus disappearing. He remembered the followers vanishing. He remembered... The Actor... stabbing him...

Madpat gasped, opening his eyes and seeing... a forest? He was in some kind of clearing, and there was a river nearby. He could hear shouting in the distance, laughter too. He could see people in black and white uniforms climbing trees or setting up tents, and some were even trying to figure out the best way to make a campfire.

“Welcome camper!”

Madpat spun around, seeing... Unus and Annus. They were wearing uniforms in their usual colors: a shirt that said ‘Staff’, shorts, and striped socks and sneakers. Madpat looked down and realized that he was wearing a white shirt that said ‘Camp Unus Annus’ along with a pair of white bermuda shorts and his own striped socks and sneakers.

He... he was a camper? What was this place?

“I’m sure you have a lot of questions,” Annus said, watching Madpat look around in confusion. “First off, I want to assure you that you’re fine. Well, you _will be_ fine...”

“W... what do you mean?” Madpat asked.

“Well...” Unus grimaced. “You kinda died. Actor killed you.”

 _“I’m dead!?”_ Madpat didn’t mean to shout so loudly, but that was the last thing he expected to hear.

“Relax,” said Unus. “You’re standing before the two entities who control this kind of stuff. You’ll be ok. We just wanted a chance to speak to you.”

“Speak to me?” Madpat repeated.

“Of course,” said Annus. “We wanted to thank you. You helped us find each other. You helped us die together. Even to the very end, you were fighting for us.”

“We don’t just forget stuff like that,” said Unus. “So thank you. I don’t even want to think about what could have happened without your help.”

“Without _everyone's_ help,” said Annus. “You and the others. I also wanted to congratulate you. You got on another ride! I hope you enjoy this one. And... I wanted to say how proud I am of you. You were able to overcome so much from the inside and the outside. You became more than just a character. You are your own person now. You... you found your identity."

“And that’s wonderful,” Unus smiled. “I’m proud too... even if I wasn’t there as much as Annus was.”

Madpat sniffled, just now noticing that he was crying. He never thought he could feel something that made him feel so happy. So valued. He wiped at his eyes and chuckled.

“You guys... made me... cry...” he said. “If this is the end... I wouldn’t mind. This seems like a nice place to be.”

“We do take pride in our beloved camp,” Annus said.

“Camp Unus Annus is the end that awaits for _all_ of our followers,” said Unus. “Unless there’s somewhere else they prefer to go. But you’ll get to come back when you reach your end if you want to.”

“I- what?” Madpat was confused. “But... aren’t I dead now?”

“Well...” Annus made a big show of thinking about something. “For all that you’ve done, I _suppose_ I could spare you some more time. Repair your clock and let you die again in the far off future. I think you’ve earned it after all that you’ve done for us.”

“You’re sending me back?” Madpat’s face lit up. “Not that I don’t mind this place, but... I... I would like to go back.”

“We should send him back,” Unus agreed. “Especially since Shawn is losing his mind over him now.”

“Wait, he is?” Madpat asked.

“Of course he is!” Annus said. “He loves you like a brother. You two are as thick as thieves and twice as dangerous.”

Madpat sniffled again and suddenly pulled them both into a hug.

“Thank you,” he said. “I’m gonna miss you guys so much.”

“We’ll still be there,” Annus hugged back.

“Even if you can’t see us,” Unus hugged back.

“And remember the creed,” said Annus.

“Because once a follower, always a follower,” said Unus.

 _“Memento Mori,”_ they all said at the same time.

Madpat felt his eyes close, and there was a moment of darkness...

He opened them with a gasp, seeing Shawn’s face right above his own.

_"Hatter!"_


	10. The Black Parade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So... this is just a random thought I had one day. XD

No one saw it coming.

A friendship between Virgil, the biggest introvert, and Bing, one of the biggest extroverts?

Impossible!

But... music has a funny way of bringing people together.

They had learned that they both had a deep appreciation for My Chemical Romance and other similar groups. When Virgil really got comfortable around Bing, they would start jamming out together and singing their edgy songs. Remus would even join in sometimes.

Today was no exception. Virgil and Bing were in the kitchen with Bing playing music from his built in speakers. The special call came on, a familiar piano tune.

 _“When I was a young boy,”_ Virgil sang, _“my father took me into the city to see a marching band.”_

 _“He said ‘son when you grow up,”_ Bing joined in. _“Will you be the savior of the broken, the beaten, and the damned’?”_

_“He said ‘will you defeat them? Your demons, and all the non-believers. The plans that they have made’?”_

Bing and Virgil looked around in confusion. Who was singing with them? They both quickly realized the only other person in the kitchen was Darkiplier, who was standing at the coffee machine with his back to them.

_“Because one day I'll leave you. A phantom to lead you in the summer. To join the black parade!”_

Holy hell, Darkiplier was singing to MCR. And he was singing the correct lyrics!

Which meant...

“One of us,” Virgil said softly, a smile slowly spreading. “One of us!”

“One of us!” Bing said.

“What?” Darkiplier spun around. He had forgotten they were in the kitchen.

And now they knew his embarrassing secret.

“One of us! One of us!” Virgil and Bing continued to chant as they stepped closer to Darkiplier.

“No! I don’t... I’ve never... I just like how they sound, ok?” Darkiplier tried to defend himself. “Their lyrics and melodies are oddly pleasing to the ears. Now leave me alone!”

Dark pushed them out of his way and vanished into a dark portal.

“Holy ****!” Bing said. “I can’t believe Dark listens to My Chemical Romance!”

“Hang on, Bing...” Virgil turned serious. “We shouldn’t make fun of him. Gerard Way loves all of his fans equally. Everyone’s welcome in the Black Parade. Let’s let him keep his dignity.”

“Really?” Bing raised an eyebrow.

“Sure. Besides, we can so use this for blackmail material,” Virgil grinned.

“Dude! I like the way you think!” Bing put his hand up and high fived Virgil.


	11. Dads of a Feather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever wonder about when Chase and Patton met?

Chase wasn’t too sure about this support group. He’d been going for a few weeks, but it didn’t seem to be helping as much as he’d like. It was nice talking about Stacy and the children who didn’t make it over the bridge, so to speak. 

But it also just reminded him of how alone he was now. 

Not that he wasn’t alone before. Stacy had taken both kids and he only got to see them a handful of time, but now... now they were all gone and it was just him- 

“Are you ok?” 

Chase flinched and looked up to see one of the other group members staring at him with concern. Patton, he’d said his name was. This guy looked like every stereotypical dad Chase could think of. The polo, the khakis, the thick glasses, even the goofy dad shoes. 

He’d said he had lost five sons and the other person who helped him take care of them. Patton had specified that this person was not his partner or spouse in any way, but he still cared about them. Chase couldn’t even imagine losing such a big family. His small one had been painful enough... 

“I... um...” Chase wavered between lying and telling the truth. The longer he looked at Patton, the more he wanted to just spill it all out and cry. Patton had that odd effect on the other group members too... 

“Why don’t we go get some ice cream?” Patton asked. “You look like you could use some. I know a great shop down the street.” 

“Thanks, but... I don’t... really... have any money to spare,” Chase said slowly. 

“My treat,” Patton smiled. “I have a feeling that the plans you had already weren’t the healthiest...” 

True, Chase had been considering going to a bar and using the last of his cash to drown his sorrows. He’d figured if he was going to be alone and broke, he could at least be drunk to deal with it all... 

“Come on,” Patton held his hand out to Chase. “Who can turn down ice cream?” 

His smile was so bright and genuine that it almost hurt. Chase had never seen anyone who could care about a perfect stranger so much and... and be such a kind little ball of sunshine. 

As Chase took Patton’s hand, he saw a brief flash of baby blue light pass over it. He flinched and looked at Patton in surprise. 

“No way!” He said. “You’re an ego?” He stood up and looked closer at Patton. 

“An ego?” Patton looked confused. 

“Yeah, you have a youtube creator?” Chase said. “I do too! His name is Sean...” 

“Oh!” Patton’s eyes sparkled. “Yes, Thomas is one of my kiddos. But... we’re called Sides. So, are you part of Sean’s personality? What part of him do you embody?” 

“Eh, what?” Chase looked confused. 

“Yeah, that’s what we are,” Patton said. “The Sanders Sides! We each represent a part of Thomas. I’m his emotions and nostalgia, but my primary role is his moral compass. What about you?” 

“Oh...” Chase said slowly. “Um, my creator isn’t like that. We’re called egos. We’re completely separate from him. We’re like... characters.” 

“Oh wow,” Patton’s eyes widened. “I had no idea. So you just appeared here too. Wait... but that would mean...” 

“Yeah,” Chase looked away. “My wife and kids didn’t make it with me. That’s why I’m here. I haven’t... I haven’t been taking it well...” 

“Oh!” Patton covered his mouth with his hands. “You poor thing. Come here...” 

He pulled Chase into... what could only be described as the perfect hug. It was warm, it was tight, but not too tight, and Patton was rubbing his back. Chase tried to fight back the tears that had suddenly sprung into his eyes, but he couldn’t. He slumped in Patton’s hold and sobbed into his shoulder. 

“There,” Patton said softly. “Let it all out. You’ll feel much better afterward. You can’t keep emotions like this inside for too long. You gotta let them out, ya know? I’m always having to tell Thomas that...” 

Chase did eventually get his ice cream. It was the best thing he’d tasted in a very long time...


	12. A Trip to the Dentist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for mentions of teeth and teeth pulling. Nothing graphic.

Janus had no regrets. 

That bastard Actor had pushed him too far and gotten too close. 

Janus had struck, biting Actor’s hands with his fangs. His poison wasn’t strong enough to kill, but it would certainly make that hand sore for a good while. The hand was already bruising and swelling up when Actor left Janus on the floor of his cell. 

Janus knew that he would be punished... but he didn’t care. He still had a shred of dignity left. He wouldn’t let that asshole hurt him without striking back... 

The door to his cell opened, and Janus flinched. He knew who it was. Author had come to punish him. 

“You really made him mad,” he could hear the sadistic glee in Author’s voice. “He wants to make sure you don’t do that again...” 

Janus heard the scratch of the pen against a notebook page and closed his eyes. He grunted in pain as his body suddenly began to move on its own. Janus sat up and his eyes widened when he saw what Author was holding out to him. 

“You know what to do,” Author said, his grin positively feral. 

Janus struggled to stop, but his hand reached out and took the pliers from Author’s hand. His mouth opened against his will, and he could only stare with wide eyes as he brought the pliers closer and closer to his mouth. 

He whimpered when he felt the cold metal of the pliers surround one of his fangs. 

And then he screamed as his hands pulled, taking the fang with them.


	13. Roman's Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For M4R4N14MH and stay_hydr8ted who wanted content about Roman's captivity

Roman came into this world alone.

Funny, that had always been a big fear of his: to end up alone.

He didn’t know where the others were, or if they’d even made it over too. He didn’t know where Thomas was. He didn’t even know where he was...

He’d been as careful as he could, but he’d still managed to get captured. In his defense, the man who captured him had gifts with writing much like Roman did. But his abilities were far more powerful, and Roman’s powers had been restrained.

They kept him in a cell and made him show off his powers. Commanded him to do things and then punish him when he couldn’t. Roman had fought back, but after a few punishments, he stopped. He knew that Logan would have told him to just do as he was told, lest he end up dead...

But Roman couldn’t do what they wanted him to. Not completely. And that angered them.

The one in the goggles started poking and prodding at him with all manner of instruments, hooked him up to machines and did some rather invasive examinations. Roman hated every moment of it, and he _still_ didn’t give them the results they wanted.

“Useless!” The one in red yelled at him. “Completely useless! Get rid of him, he’s no longer needed.”

“Oh, but why get rid of a perfectly good subject?” The one in goggles asked.

They ended up keeping him, and the tests continued.

When Roman finally made it back to his family, he cried. They all hugged him, but Remus hugged him the most and the longest.

“I could feel it,” he said. “I could feel that you were in pain. I’m so sorry I couldn’t help you. I tried looking for help...”

“Don’t worry,” Roman assured him and ruffled his hair. “I’m just glad you’re ok. I was worried they’d get you too.”

“They should be glad they didn’t,” Remus growled. “Because when I get ahold of them... I’ll carve every minute of pain you experienced right out of their flesh...”


	14. Patton's Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For M4R4N14MH who wanted Patton being reunited with the others

He was still a bit dizzy from the sudden change. Patton didn’t think he’d ever get used to changing into a giant frog, but it had been necessary in the name of protecting his kiddos. 

Speaking of which... 

They had all enveloped Patton in a hug, and he squeezed anyone he could reach, happy to finally be back with his family. 

“Is everyone ok?” He asked, looking everyone over. “Do we have any bandaids? Maybe some neosporin? Who’s bleeding? Does anyone need an ice pack?” 

“Patton, we’re fine,” Logan said. 

“Yeah, we’ll be ok,” Virgil smiled. 

He asked them how they’d been, and he was horrified to hear about Roman and Janus being captured. He cried and hugged them both tightly, devastated to hear how much pain they’d went through. 

“You were both so brave,” he said. “You escaped! I’m proud of you. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to protect you. I hate it when my kiddos get hurt...” 

He refused to let them out of his sight for the rest of the day, so they spent it curled up on one of the bigger couches with Patton smack in the middle. He cuddled into the warmth of the others and smiled, happy that his family was whole again.


	15. Remus and Virgil's Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For stay_hydr8ted who wanted to see Virgil and Remus in New York

At first, Virgil panicked. 

Then he found out that Remus was with him, so he panicked slightly less. 

This was still a nightmare, though. He was in a city that he did not know, separated from the other Sides and Thomas, and no way to contact them. He had a phone, but he had no one’s number. 

But things got slightly better when Remus found out that he could conjure money. Virgil could already hear Patton scolding them for what essentially was stealing, but he figured Patton might be lenient if he found out they needed food and a place to stay. 

“We’re in New York!” Remus said as he flopped onto one of the hotel beds. “Oh, baby! Think of all the trouble we can get into here...” 

“I’d rather not,” Virgil was wrapped in one of the blankets. “What are we going to do? How are we going to find the others? Are they even here?” 

“Relax, Emo...” Remus started rifling through the minibar. “If we’re here, they have to be here too. We’re a package deal, after all. We’ll find them, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun.” 

“What kind of fun could we possibly have here?” Virgil growled. 

“Voila!” Remus held up a brochure. “I know you’ve been dying to see the new Beetlejuice musical. There’s also Be More Chill, Hadestown, Hamilton... we have our pick of the broadway buffet...” 

“Beetlejuice?” Virgil took the brochure. “But... how will we get tickets?” 

“Please,” Remus scoffed. “Like that’s gonna stop us. I can get us in there no problem. So relax and let your hair down a bit. Let’s have a good time while we’re here.” 

He tossed Virgil a pack of candy, and Virgil caught it, looking uncertain. 

“Well...” he said. “Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to see a few shows. I mean, when are we gonna be here again?” 

“That’s the spirit!” Remus took a bite out of the fresh bar of soap by the sink. “Don’t worry, everything will be ok...”


	16. Madpat's Punishment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Totally not Colonel Barnum who wanted to see Madpat getting punishment
> 
> Warning for vomit

Madpat had definitely seen better days, but he was hesitant to admit that.

He was fine.

This was ok.

It was his fault anyway...

He carefully secured the bandage that he’d wrapped around his shoulder. He had a few on his legs, his back, even his face. A look in the mirror showed how bad he was feeling, pale skin, glassy eyes, dark shadows sitting beneath them. They seemed to mock him. He hadn’t slept a full night in... well, he couldn’t remember.

His stomach cramped with hunger, but he had not earned the right to eat yet. He’d already vomited early, bringing up nothing but bile and the bit of water he was allowed to drink. He felt as if he was losing his mind. Sometimes he swore he saw things in the shadows of the room. Swore he heard things echoing around the empty halls. He was having nearly constant migraines that impaired his thinking and caused more than a few lab accidents... which would lead to more punishment.

He felt so sick... but it was his fault...

_“Why must you make me hurt you? Do you think I enjoy this? Are you a masochist?”_

Actor always sounded so disappointed in him whenever he was being punished. Whenever he was forced to stay awake or denied food, Actor just gave him a disappointed look and a sigh.

“If you would just _obey_... if you would just _do as I tell you_... then things would be so much better.”

“I’m sorry,” Madpat sobbed, kneeling at Actor’s feet. “I’m sorry...”

Actor reached down and ran his fingers through Madpat’s hair. Madpat chased after the gentle touch, but Actor pulled his hand away.

“Please...” Madpat begged him. “Please, I’m so tired. I’m so hungry...”

“Well hopefully this punishment will make you want to do better,” Actor said as he turned away. “If not, I guess I’ll just have to think of something else. You’re really making this difficult on me, Madpat. Sometimes I think you _want_ to be punished...”

Madpat didn’t. He never wanted to be punished. Why couldn’t he do better? Why couldn’t he obey?

It was all his fault...


	17. Protect the Soft Boi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Sleepless128 who wanted protective Cranks

It was strange. Blank was the oldest and most powerful of the Crank egos, but the others had all decided that he needed to be protected. 

Literally, they had a meeting about it. There was cake and tea. 

“He needs to be protected,” Mike said. 

“Agreed,” said Father Ethan. 

“I’m a bit limited,” MerEthan nodded at his tail. “But I’ll do what I can...” 

And from there, the vow began. 

They were careful about it. Blank was easily overwhelmed, so they kept their interactions at one ego at a time. 

Mad Mike bought Blank a pair of noise canceling headphones for when he had to come into the house for food or other things. Blank was hesitant to accept the gift, but afterwards Mike saw Blank wearing them several times. 

MerEthan kept an eye on Blank when he was at his little house out in the woods. He’d asked Host to expand the tunnels and give him a good vantage point that allowed him to watch over Blank. 

Father Ethan said a prayer for Blank every morning. He also watched over him when Blank was in the house, providing him with silent company that Blank seemed to appreciate. 

Mad Mike was also the one who was more... physical. Anyone who tried pranking Blank or being too rough with him found themselves with a swift fist to the face and a laxative shoved into their evening dinner. 

Of course, Blank realized what the others were doing, he wasn’t an idiot. He didn’t know what to think or feel. Part of him was happy while another part was worried that the newfound actions had some ulterior motive. 

He was stuck between wanting more and wanting it to stop. 

Thankfully, the other egos could be patient. They knew it would take time for Blank to trust them, and they were willing to wait. They kept their distance and made sure to approach Blank in small doses. 

And Mike considered it a small victory when Blank fell asleep in his presence. That was a sign of trust, right?


	18. Domesticated Subjects

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For M4R4N14MH

“It’s incredible,” Logan said, looking closely at the squirrel he was holding. “These are wild animals, and yet... around you, they act as if they were domesticated...” 

“They’re adorable!” Patton cooed over the squirrels that were climbing over him. “So cute...” 

“Well, I like to think that no matter how wild something may be, all it takes is the right kind of handling,” said King. “You just have to give off the right kind of vibes, you know? When you do that, they’ll pick up on it and then they’re nice and docile. You’d be amazed at how calm they can be when I’m careful with them...” 

Logan mused over King’s words, tilting his head slightly. He then slowly turned to look at the couch where Remus was quietly watching television with Eric curled up against his side. 

Perhaps King’s words held some truth to them...


	19. They're Dorks

A lot of people saw Devil Mark as a suave and sophisticated demon. He wore lavishly tailored suits and ate only the finest of foods and things like that.

What they didn’t know... was that it was all an act.

Devil Mark showed this façade to the public, but behind closed doors...

“What are you watching?” Dark asked.

Devil Mark was stretched on the couch and watching television. He was wearing one of Dawktrap’s FNAF Show shirts with a pair of jeans and eating barbecue chips straight from the bag.

“Hmm?” He asked, glancing at Dark. “Oh. One of those reality shows. Something about... parking tickets...”

“Ugh,” Dark rolled his eyes. “How can you watch this drivel?”

“It’s actually very easy,” said Devil Mark. “I just sit here... and keep my eyes open and on the tv...”

“Is this how you really are?” Dark asked. “I can’t help but notice a very distinct difference between how you look when you go out versus how you look when you stay home and lay around all day.”

“Did you really expect our creator to be able to make any sort of elegant or refined ego?” Devil Mark asked. “A dork like Mark? Did you really?”

“I’m elegant and refined,” Dark said.

“You listen to My Chemical Romance,” said Devil Mark.

“Not _all_ the time,” Dark protested.

“And you cut the crusts off your sandwiches,” Devil Mark chuckled.

“I don’t like crusts,” Dark shrugged.

“And I know you put those huge thousand piece puzzles together,” said Devil Mark. “The last package delivered here had kitten puzzles...”

“It’s a form of stress management!” Dark growled. “I am an elegant and a refined ego and I will not stand here and be insulted by-”

A sudden beep sounded form the kitchen, and Dark’s face split into a grin as he turned to face it.

“My poptarts!” He said.

He then froze when he heard Devil Mark struggling to stifle his laughter. His face blushed a slight grey.

“Shut up!” He snapped, disappearing into a portal of shadow.

Devil Mark howled with laughter.


	20. Assert Your Dominance

It all started when Blank and Virgil met for the first time. 

That’s what led to the strange sight that Marvin was watching. 

Virgil and Blank were both knelt on the floor, tense and posed like a cat on the defense, and they were both hissing and baring their teeth at each other. 

Marvin watched them slowly circle, neither taking their eyes off the other. Janus was watching too, but he looked as if this were something normal. Marvin wondered if Virgil had ever done this before... 

Slowly, Virgil and Blank began to creep closer, still hissing or growling when the other made a sudden move. They got close enough to almost touch noses... and they glared into each other’s eyes. Virgil then growled loudly and Blank crumpled to the floor covering his head with his arms. 

Virgil stood up and nodded as if that had decided something. He then slid his headphones back on and walked off. 

“Blank?” Marvin held out his hand to the demon. “Are you ok?” 

“Ugh... I lost,” Blank groaned as he took Marvin’s hand and stood up. “Dammit...” 

“Lost what?’ Marvin asked. 

“They were asserting dominance,” Janus explained. “Blank backed down, declaring Virgil the winner and the more dominant one. It’s a defense mechanism, but I had no idea anyone but Virgil demonstrated it.” 

“So that was normal?” Marvin asked. 

“Indeed,” said Janus. “He must have picked up on Blank’s anxiety and it caused him to act that way...” 

Blank huffed and crossed his arms, looking disappointed in himself. 

“My advice?” Janus said to Marvin. “If he ever tries that with you... grab him by the back of the neck and pin him. It’s the safest way to win without hurting him...” 

Marvin could not tell if Janus was joking or not...


	21. Support your Creator

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do I have the same shirt that Dawktrap has in this drabble?
> 
> Maybe...

“Delivery!” 

Security Nate walked into the living room with two packages under his arm. He handed one to Mad Mike and then one to Dawktrap. 

“Oh yes!” Dawktrap used his knife to cut the box open. “It came in!” 

“Awesome!” Mike smiled and opened his. He pulled out a blue shirt that said 'Soft Boi' on the front and a black hoodie that said the same thing. “I’ll need to go give Blank his hoodie...” 

“Wait, that’s Ethan’s merch,” Marvin said. “You buy Ethan’s merch?” 

“Nothing wrong with supporting your creator,” Dawktrap was unfolding the shirt he’d bought. “Besides, I look good on a shirt, don’t I?” 

He showed the shirt to Marvin. It had a drawing of him smiling and holding his hand out on it.

“Oh good on you, Lewis,” Dawktrap pulled his shirt off and put his new one on. “This looks great and it’s so comfy!” 

“You should try some of Sean’s merch,” Mike told Marvin. “or Cloak. Lots of the Iplier egos wear Cloak stuff. They say it’s really good quality...” 

“Yeah, I think I saw Eric wearing one of the hoodies yesterday,” said Dawktrap. “He looked so adorable in it...” 

“Huh...” Marvin mused. He pulled out his phone and began searching online. Maybe his wardrobe could use a few new things...


	22. Reality TV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Dynamite.
> 
> Who can guess what show they're watching?

It was a bit surprising to think that Mad Mike and Devil Mark could find something to bond over. 

Though, when you considered Mike’s side business... maybe it wasn’t all that surprising... 

Still, who knew that they would bond over reality television of all things? 

On the days that Mike stayed home and didn’t run out driving his ice cream truck everywhere, he was on the couch with Devil Mark on a different couch, and they binge watched reality television shows. All kinds, and the dumber and more dramatic the better. 

“You think she’s gonna get fired?” Mike asked, munching on some popcorn. “I mean, she didn’t clean that room all that well.” 

“Yeah, but they’re in the middle of a gig,” Devil Mark said. “And it’s kind of hard to kick someone off a luxury yacht...” 

Mike scoffed. 

“With that attitude of hers, I’d fire her and then give her a life jacket and say ‘swim home’,” he said. “That kind of crap just lowers morale and that’s no good for anyone. It’s why I work by myself. Having people work for you just complicates things...” 

“Plus less people to rat you out to the cops,” Devil Mark laughed. 

“That too,” Mike agreed. 

“You do know these shows are all scripted, right?” Dark said as he passed them on the way to the kitchen. “None of this is actually real.” 

“So?” Mike shrugged. “Still entertainment...” 

"Yeah, maybe we're not as refined as you claim to be," Devil Mark said. "But we enjoy our television time, and you're killing the mood. Move on, you dandy..."


	23. Dungeon Master

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The egos are dorks. You know they would play this game...

“Roman, you cannot cast that spell. Your character doesn’t have a high enough level,” said Wilford. 

He was sitting at a table with a group of egos and wearing a princess tiara. On the table was a board, several figurines, and sheets of paper. They were all spread out and had various numbers and scribbles on it. 

“My character is a wizard,” Roman said, wearing a wizard’s hat. “He can cast this spell with the proper boost.” 

“No he can’t,” Janus said, consulting a few different books. He was the dungeon master of the game. “It says here that boost doesn’t work for that type of spell.” 

“Ha!” Remus, who was wearing a black robe, laughed. “Suck it, Roman!” 

“You have no room to talk,” said Roman. “You tried to resurrect a dragon skeleton with the wrong ritual.” 

“Gentlemen!” Wilford put his hands up. “Roman, you can’t cast that spell. Choose another one.” 

“And do it sometime this year, please...” Remus said, looking impatient. 

“This is fun,” Eric beamed. He was holding a wolf plush to show that his character was a beast tamer. 

“Yeah, I suppose it is,” King of the Squirrels said, trying to wrestle one of the figurines away from one of his squirrels.


	24. Not a Sexual Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Mark's recent talks about the new Resident Evil game and certain big woman.

“I mean, do we all have to play it?” Bing asked. “Maybe one of us can play it and the rest can just watch?” 

“No way,” Bim shook his head. “I want to play it too.” 

“I’m not terribly good at games, but I wouldn’t mind giving it a try,” said Wilford. 

“I want a turn too,” said Illinois. 

“Maybe we can draw numbers?” Yancy suggested. “Go in order?” 

“What is going on?” Dark appeared and looked at them with narrowed eyes. 

“We’re trying to decide who gets first dibs on the new Resident Evil game,” Bing said. 

“Game? Why is this game so important?” Dark asked. “You’ve never argued over a game before...” 

“Lady Dimitrescu,” said Wilford. “She is the only reason why...” 

“The game comes out in May, but we want to go ahead and get an order going,” said Illinois. 

“Lady Dimitr- oh god, is she that woman that our creator has been fawning over so much lately?” Dark asked. 

“You mean the big mommy vampire?” Bing asked. “Yep, that’s her.” 

“You’re all depraved,” said Dark. “Lusting over a fictional character-” 

“It’s not a sexual thing,” the group of egos said in perfect unison. 

“I want to fight her,” said Wilford. “See what kind of raw power hides under that pale flesh...” 

“I want to take pictures of her,” said Bing. 

“I want to rub her feet,” said Illinois. 

“I just want write songs for her,” Yancy said. 

“I want to dress her,” said Bim. 

Dark was silent for a moment. 

“Still depraved,” he said. “You all need professional help...”


	25. Old Timey Cures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's stuck in bed with The Crud? This dog! I'll just be doing some small stuff here while I'm recovering. And before anyone lectures me, I slept plenty earlier today and I'm doing better.
> 
> But if I gotta suffer, the bois do too...

The downside of living with so many people was that sickness spread like wildfire. Now, while there were certain egos who just didn’t get sick (demon or androids or zombies), most of them did. As such, the infirmary had a few beds occupied with sick egos, but no one was having as bad a time as Madpat. 

All the torture and suffering he’d gone through had done no favors for his immune system, and it caused him to get sick worse than the others. He was napping in one of the infirmary beds, cold compress on his forehead. 

And then someone woke him up. 

“Hatter?” It was Shawn. “Hatter, Dr. Iplier says you need to eat. I brought you some soup...” 

Madpat slowly opened his eyes with a groan. He sniffled loudly and Shawn passed him some tissues. 

“Blow your nose,” he said. “Dr. Iplier says snorting like that is bad.” 

Madpat did so, blowing his nose and then coughing a few times. He tossed his trash into the nearby trashcan and slowly managed to sit up. 

“Here,” Shawn tucked a few more pillows behind him to help him sit up so that he could eat. “Chefipllier made a big pot of chicken soup for you guys. I also brought some sprite and some crackers.” 

“My hero,” Madpat croaked, but he managed a smile. He took the spoon that Shawn handed him and slowly started to eat. “Aren’t you worried about getting sick?” 

“Nah,” Shawn shook his head. “The ink is pretty good at keeping me healthy. I don’t get sick often.” 

“Lucky,” Madpat chuckled and then sniffled. “Mmm... this is really good. Chefiplier did a great job.” 

“Sorry you feel like crap,” said Shawn. “I wish I could help, but all the medicines and treatments I know are a bit... outdated. And illegal. I remember one time my Grandpa got sick and ol’ Granny Flynn did this thing where you light a piece of paper on fire, blow it out, and then put it under a glass on your chest. Supposed to help clear up the mucus in your lungs...” 

“Did it work?” Madpat asked. 

“Sometimes,” Shawn said. “Granny Flynn was very much a believer in the old methods. Potato in your sock, mint tied around your wrist, having a dead person lay a hand on you...” 

“You’re kidding,” Madpat’s eyes widened. 

“I wish!” Shawn laughed. “She really did it to my cousin, but hey... they got better. Back in our days we didn’t have your fancy medicines and vaccines and your knowledge, so we just did whatever was believed to work.” 

“That’s so weird,” Madpat said. He ate as much soup as he could before passing the bowl back to Shawn. “Sorry, I can’t eat much more.” 

“That’s ok,” Shawn set the bowl back on the tray. “Here, drink this down. Ginger, mint, and chamomile tea. It won’t taste the best, but it’ll help. It’s what Granny Flynn always said...” 

He handed Madpat a warm cup of tea. Madpat quickly gulped it down, grimacing at the taste. Shawn wasn’t kidding. Still, his throat was already feeling a bit better. 

“Get some rest, Hatter,” Shawn picked up the dishes and stood up. “I’ll come check on you later, ok?” 

“Thanks, Shawn...” Madpat smiled and settled down. 

He was soon asleep again.


	26. The Sort of FNAF Movie

“Dude, I am so glad they made this movie...” King of FNAF said. 

He was sprawled out on the couch and watching Willy’s Wonderland with Dawktrap. Dawktrap had shown an interest in the movie after seeing Dawko’s reaction to the trailer. And he was always down to see some animatronics get the stuffing beat out of them. 

“But imagine if this was the FNAF movie they promised us,” King said, sitting up. “Like... you see how Nicholas Cage is just beating the hell out of that gorilla animatronic. Imagine if that was The Faz. Just imagine Nic Cage beating up The Faz.” 

“Nicholas Cage beating up Freddy Fazbear?” Dawktrap raised an eyebrow. “I... I would actually pay to see that in a movie.” 

“We’ve been waiting so long,” King groaned as he flopped over again. “When will we finally get our FNAF movie? You know people are petitioning for our creators to have a cameo in it? They want like all the big youtubers to have a cameo. How would that even work?” 

“Easy,” said Dawktrap. “They’re the security guards who are all murdered by the animatronics. Just have a montage of them dying one by one and then end it with the main character getting hired and then the story goes from there.” 

“Huh...” King mused. “That could actually work. But what about Matpat? He’s done a lot for FNAF, we can’t leave him out.” 

“He can have a bigger role,” said Dawktrap. “He can be Phone Guy.” 

“Nah, I bet Scott’s gonna be Phone Guy,” King shook his head. 

“What are you two watching?” 

The two egos looked up to see Dark standing there and looking at the tv with furrowed brows. 

“You know what, forget I asked,” he said, turning away. “I swear you lot just deliberately look for the strangest and dumbest programs to watch...” 

“Hey!” King sat up and pointed at Dark from over the back of the couch. “In this house... we stan our man Nic Cage.” 

“I don’t even know who that is,” Dark said as he walked off.


	27. The Rabid Dog

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A what-if scenario.  
> Have you ever wondered how things would be if I wasn't the sweet little corgi you all know and love?
> 
> Warnings for mentions of blood and death.

Wilford didn’t know what to think of it.

It was as if the corgi just snapped one day and decided to become a horror writer instead. Horrible abominations and blood thirsty creatures sprung into existence and began to attack and kill the egos.

They were the lucky ones.

Other egos had completely changed as if someone had switched them with someone else. They had been rewritten, Wilford knew. And they were joining in on the bloodshed, murdering and maiming without any clear goal.

“Why?” Wilford yelled. “How could you?”

A chilling laugh was his answer.

 _“Because I was curious,”_ said the voice that Wilford knew so well. _“You should be grateful that I didn’t change you...”_

“You changed Dark!” Wilford said. “You changed Jameson! You changed others!”

 _“Of course I did,”_ said the voice. _“I wanted to see what would happen.”_

Wilford looked out over the room, seeing mangled corpses strewn about the floor. Blood soaked every inch of the carpet and dripped form the walls-

Wilford woke up with a gasp, feeling as if his heart was trying to beat out of his chest. He pressed a hand over it and looked around. There was no blood. No bodies. No one was screaming in agony or terror...

Had... had it all been a dream?

Wilford sighed heavily and suddenly noticed a note on his bedside table.

‘My curiosity has been sated,’ it read.


	28. Cosplays and Tiktoks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For DigAHoleWithMe

“Hey, look at this one,” Chase pointed at the computer screen. “Looks like they cosplay as all of us. They did a video of us all drinking Sean’s new coffee.”

“Wow, they did a good job,” Jackie said, smiling as he watched a few of the cosplayer’s tiktoks.

“Oh, they even did Shawn!” Chase said. “Shawn, come look!”

“Huh? What’s this?” Shawn looked over Chase’s shoulder at his laptop. “Oh, that’s me!”

“Yeah, they’re really good at this,” said Chase. “Look, they did a video of Jameson making a cup of tea.”

 **Proper tea techniques are important to know,** Jameson smiled.

“And there’s someone else that’s in a lot of their stuff,” Jackie said, clicking on another video. “Let’s see-”

They all paused when they saw it was a video of the two cosplaying as Shawn and Darkiplier. Shawn’s eyes widened.

“I would never willingly go near that man,” he shook his head. “Guy is way too scary.”

“I’ve seen what you can do,” said Chase. “You’re still scared of Dark?”

“I have every right to be,” said Shawn. “Not even Bendy in his monster form is as scary as Dark is...”


	29. Looping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another what-if.
> 
> What would happen... if I stopped writing my story?

The first time the day looped, Author didn’t worry too much.

Days had looped before, but the next day always started pretty quickly. He knew that some days the corgi would take breaks, but things always continued after a few loops.

Nothing to worry about.

But then the day _kept_ looping. Over and over, the same day again and again. It looped more than it ever had before. Now Author was worried. Had something happened to the corgi? Why weren’t they writing?

The day continued to loop, and Author marked a tally for each time it did so, trying to figure out what the problem could be...

One day, something changed. Dr. Iplier noticed that Author was not at breakfast. Concerned, he went to check on the other.

“Author?” he knocked on the ego’s door. “Author are you in there?”

The door was unlocked, so Dr. Iplier opened it and stepped inside.

His eyes widened.

The walls of Author’s room were covered in tally marks. Author himself was curled up on the floor. He was shaking and mumbling to himself with wide eyes...


	30. Dawktrap's Other Self

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was an idea that came to me. I might do more like this where Dawktrap sees other versions of the egos in other universes...

“The Glitch welcomes Dawktrap.” 

Dawktrap stared at the individual in front of him. It was him. It had to be. There was no mistaking that this individual was him from another universe. 

And it terrified Dawktrap. 

Mainly because this other self had bloody bandages around his eyes and was dressed differently. But the way he spoke, the way he looked... reminded Dawktrap of The Host. 

“Dawktrap has many questions,” said his other self. “The Glitch will answer if he decides to ask...” 

“Wh...” Dawktrap shook his head. “What the bloody hell happened to you?” 

“The Glitch... suffered a malfunction,” said his other self. “His VR headset malfunctioned and damaged The Glitch’s eyes. The Glitch’s eyes were... unsalvageable... and he is now stuck with his mind in several universes at once...” 

Dawktrap reached up and felt the VR headset that he was wearing right at that moment. He was suddenly seized by a wave of fear and an urge to remove it. 

“Do not fear,” The Glitch smiled and tilted his head. “Such a fate will not befall Dawktrap... as far as The Glitch knows. But... perhaps Dawktrap should not tempt fate...” 

Dawktrap didn’t need to be told twice. He quickly switched the headset off and removed it, setting it aside on his desk and then backing up as if it were a bomb set to go off. He narrowed his eyes at it, thinking about his other self. 

He finally shook his head and left his room. He’d worry about it later...


	31. Multiple Arms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For DigAHoleWithMe

Janus and Dr. Iplier were the ones who were put in charge of grocery shopping. 

Mostly because they were the only ones who could be trusted to not just buy a bunch of junk and candy. Darkiplier expected them to get actual food, and they did so without complaint. Still, grocery shopping for a house full of so many egos was a challenge and a half, and it required a van that had tons of storage space for them to cram all the bags into. 

“This is going to take us a while,” Dr. Iplier said as he opened the back of the van and saw the mountain of grocery bags. “When we get inside, we can ask some of them to come help us.” 

“Agreed,” Janus nodded. He picked up some bags and then... sprouted four more arms to grab even more bags. 

“What the-” Dr. Iplier’s eyes widened. “You have six arms?” 

“Is that a problem?” Janus raised an eyebrow. 

“No, just... I didn’t know. I need to put this in your records,” Dr. Iplier said as he grabbed his own bags. 

“You won’t have to worry about them,” Janus grinned. “Their structure is a bit different, and it makes them extremely durable...” 

Dr. Iplier made a mental note to examine those arms later after all the food was put away.


	32. Not Getting the Safe Driver Discount

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Knight_catalot

It was time for more grocery shopping. 

Unfortunately, Janus was sick and Dr. Iplier was busy taking care of him. This meant that the only other person who could be trusted to buy actual food had to go... which was Dark. Of course, Dark refused to go out by himself as he was a firm believer in the buddy system. Besides, his buddy was The Host, and The Host was very handy sometimes. 

The biggest drawback was that Dark could not use his powers of teleportation without drawing suspicion, and he was still working hard to keep the Iplier House safe and hidden. Best to err on the side of caution and take the van. Dark also made sure to change his look to make him look more human, and Host traded out his bandages for an enchanted pair of sunglasses.

Dark sighed heavily as he snapped his seatbelt into place. Damien and Celine both had driven in their lives, and slowly Dark had adapted to the new technologies and driving laws that came into play. 

And by that, he meant that he learned how to ignore them all in favor of getting to where he needed to go as quickly as possible. That’s what Host was for: keeping the roads clear and the police in the dust. 

“Is Darkiplier ready to go?” Host smiled from the passenger seat. He always looked happy to drive with Darkiplier, claiming that he enjoyed it immensely. 

Dark didn’t reply. Instead, he started the van and then peeled out of the driveway and down the forest path to the main road. 

Host rolled down his window to enjoy the lovely weather outside. It was finally warming up, steering away from frigid temperatures, and he wanted to savor it as much as he could. He kept his muttering up as Dark ran red lights, took turns way too quickly, wove between the other cars, and more. 

At one point, Host was all but certain they were drifting. Dark was impassive as always and Host simply turned up the volume on the radio. 

When they finally pulled into the parking lot, they cut off another car and stole their parking spot. The other driver honked loudly, but Dark simply rolled his window down and flipped them off. Damien balked in the back of his mind, appalled at Dark’s manners. Celine told Dark to key their car as they walked by. 

“Ready to get food for the zoo?” Host sounded amused as he turned to face Dark. 

Dark sighed again and turned the van off. Sometimes it really did feel like he was taking care of a zoo...


	33. Cupcakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For EnbyAuthor717

“Dark!” Wilford sauntered into Dark’s office as if he owned the place.

He was one of the few egos who could do that and survive...

Dark, of course, ignored him in favor of whatever he was doing on his computer. If there was one thing he enjoyed about modern technology it was how much easier it made things... while at the same time making them more difficult at times...

“Dark!” Wilford brandished a plate. “Dawktrap made cupcakes! You should try some!”

“I’m far too busy to eat those poisoned cupcakes, Wilford...” Dark said, still not looking away from the screen. He adjusted his glasses while he deleted something he’d just typed.

“They’re not poisoned!” Wilford huffed as he sat on the edge of Dark’s desk. “They’re very good. Dawktrap is quite the baker. Says he learned the recipe from someone named Chica. She sounds like a delightful woman...”

“Still not interested, Wilford,” Dark said, still not looking away from his screen.

“Dark, if you do not look at me, I am going to make your computer shut down and lose all the work you’ve done today,” said Wilford.

Dark paused, hands hovering over his keyboard. He slowly turned his head, narrowed eyes glaring at Wilford.

“If I eat a cupcake, will you leave and let me work?” He asked.

Wilford smirked in his victory.

“Of course,” he said, picking up one of the cupcakes. “Enjoy.”

He handed the cupcake to Dark who took it with a grimace. True, Damien had quite the infamous sweet tooth, but it was very hard to trust anything else that had been baked by anyone besides Chefiplier. Dark had had to replace the oven and several kitchen appliances many times from the egos attempting to bake...

Dark sighed as he peeled off the wrapper and broke off the bottom of the cupcake. He placed it on top of the cupcake, making what looked like an odd icing sandwich and then took a bite.

His eyes widened. This... this was actually good. _Really_ good.

Dark took a bigger bite, licking pink icing from his thumb. Damien made a few happy noises in the back of his mind, and his happiness bled over into Dark.

“Glad to see you like it,” Wilford stood up. “I’ll just get out of your hair now-”

“Leave the plate,” Dark said, licking more icing.

Wilford smoothly spun around and set the plate on Dark’s desk.

“There’s plenty more in the kitchen,” he said. “And there’s nothing wrong with indulging in simple pleasures every now and then.”

“Shut up,” Dark took another cupcake. “And close the door behind you.”

The plate was empty by the time it made it to the kitchen sink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: I eat cupcakes the same way that Dark is eating them in this chapter. It's a good way to keep frosting off your nose.


	34. Panic in New York

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For HappyBlueBean

“You’re only making this worse!” Remus called out at Jackie.

Virgil was sitting against the side of the building, head in his hands and radiating panic. His aura was going crazy, purple and black bats and spiders flying and skittering around in a swarm. People ran in terror, fleeing the streets around him. 

“He’s having a panic attack, you moron!” Remus swung his morningstar at Jackie, forcing the hero back. 

Jackie dodged the morningstar, but not the tentacle. It wrapped around him and squeezed tightly. Jackie struggled against it, using his super strength to slowly pry it away. 

“Virgil,” Remus knelt before the other Side. “Virgil, it’s ok. I’m here for you. Here, look at me. Don’t look at anything else. Focus on me, ok?” 

“R-Remus...” Virgil slowly looked up, eyes wide. “I can’t... it won’t listen...” 

“Just focus on me,” Remus cast an illusion, making the street look like Thomas’s living room. “Let’s do our breathing exercises. Remember those?” 

By the time Jackie boy managed to get free, Virgil was calming down. Virgil managed to bring his aura back under control and reign it in. The creatures faded away, and all was quiet again. 

“You two!” Jackie pointed at Remus and Virgil. “You’re under arrest-” 

He was cut off as Remus threw an octopus at him, and it wrapped around his face. By the time Jackie managed to get it off, they were gone.


	35. Enjoy the Little Things

Dawktrap smiled as he watched a video on Madpat’s laptop. 

“What are you watching?” Madpat asked as he entered the room. He could hear screaming coming from the laptop speakers. 

“Dawko’s watching the new FNAF trailer,” Dawktrap said. 

“Is he ok?” Madpat asked. “That’s not normal-” 

“Shhh...” Dawktrap pressed a finger against Madpat’s lips. “Let him enjoy his game...” 

Madpat stared at the finger and then shrugged. 

“Fair point. It’s good that he has something that makes him that happy,” he said. 

“You should have seen him when the first trailer came out,” Dawktrap chuckled. “He nearly passed out on camera. Oh, I can’t wait to see him actually play the game. He's gonna have the time of his life.” 

“If the game is any good,” Madpat pointed out. 

“I really hope it is,” said Dawktrap. “It’ll break my heart if the game ends up sucking.” 

“I’ll make sure to keep the PS5 free for you when it comes out,” said Madpat. “As long as it doesn’t come out around the same time as the new Resident Evil game. The others are gonna be hogging the console to play that game.” 

“Simps,” Dawktrap shook his head. “Completely shameless...” 

“Shhh...” Madpat pressed a finger against Dawktrap’s lips. “Let them enjoy their game...”


	36. Momiplier Makes an Entrance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I do not know Mark's mom's name, so I'm just gonna call her Ms. Fischbach. 
> 
> I might do more chapters of her meeting more egos.

Mark was nervous about his mother meeting his egos. While he was sure that they wouldn’t hurt his mother, he was worried that she would find them to be unsettling or scary. Sure, some of them were innocent enough, but... well, the others could pretty much speak for themselves... 

Still, he drove his mother to the safehouse that Dark was running and let them all know that she would be coming over and to at least try to clean up. Apparently Benjamin and Maidthan had whipped them all into a cleaning frenzy, which Mark was grateful for. 

When they pulled up to the house, Dark was waiting outside to greet them. He stood tall with his hands clasped behind his back, looking like a broody gentleman. 

“Ms. Fischbach,” he greeted. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” 

“Oh!” Ms. Fischback smiled. “So handsome with the fancy suit!” 

To Mark’s surprise, she reached up and straightened Dark’s tie before smoothing out his lapels. 

“Mark, how come you don’t wear suits?” She asked. “Look how handsome you would look...” 

Mark chuckled, but then his eyes widened when his mother wrapped her arms around Dark and hugged him. 

“So nice to meet you,” she said. “You are my son’s creation, so you are family too. I brought chicken and dumplings for everyone! Cooked it all in a big pot.” 

Dark was blushing softly as he slowly moved his arms to return the hug. He felt an odd warmth flow through him, one that he had not felt in a very long time. 

But then... no one had ever really hugged him like this before...


	37. Momiplier Makes an Entrance 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So... anyone catch FNAF Wilford from the new video?
> 
> Dawko also did a reaction video to it. XD
> 
> Makes me want to write a FNAF verse...

The next one to meet Mark’s mother was Wilford.

“Oh!” She said when she met him. “So pink! You’re like candy! Are you sweet like candy too?”

“Only for those of the fairer sex,” Wilford kissed the back of her hand. “Madame....”

“So smooth,” Ms. Fischbach gave Wilford a hug as well. One that he enthusiastically returned.

“Mark, you never mentioned how beautiful your mother is. We should really have some pictures of her in here, shouldn’t we?” Wilford said.

“I’d rather not,” said Mark. “I never know who’s going to come here next. I don’t want to risk her safety.”

“Oh, you’re such a downer,” Wilford gave a dismissive wave as Ms. Fischbach ended the hug. “Anyway, dearie... that’s such an interesting accent. Where are you from?”

“Korea,” Ms. Fischbach beamed. “You should come with us when we go. You’ll like it.”

“Korea?” Wilford repeated.

He then began to speak to her in fluent Korean, which she eagerly spoke back to him. Mark stared at Wilford in shock. He knew a good bit of Korean himself, but Wilford was speaking as if he’d lived there all his life. The words just rolled right off his tongue without any difficulty.

“Oh, I need to go meet the others,” Ms. Fischbach eventually said. “But you keep talking to Mark. We’ll take you to Korea with us.”

“I would love to accompany you,” Wilford smiled. “Ta-ta now, darling...”

Ms. Fischbach moved on, but Mark hung back.

“You speak fluent Korean?” He asked.

“Of course,” Wilford shrugged. “Why wouldn’t I?”

As if that explained _anything._


	38. Warfstache's Sweet Baby Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After watching Dawko react to the new video, I couldn't resist writing this out. Welcome to the verse, WAIA!

“No!” Dawko pointed. “No! No, no, no! No. No! No!”

“Do you have a problem, Dawktrap?” Wilford folded his arms.

“That thing is not staying here,” said Dawktrap. “It needs to go.”

The thing in question was a very dirty and badly damaged animatronic that looked like Wilford. To be honest, it looked like Wilford had made it out of scrap metal that had been allowed to sit outside and rust. Despite the wide smile it sported, it looked very horrific.

“How dare you call my sweet baby boy a _thing,”_ Wilford said as he pressed his hands over the animatronic’s ears. “He’s sensitive.”

“Yeah, we’ll see how 'sweet' he is when he’s picking someone’s frontal lobe out of his teeth,” Dawktrap shook his head. “I’ve been around enough cursed animatronics to be able to recognize one, and that one has ‘cursed’ written all over it.”

“Hardly,” Wilford removed his hands. “The only thing it has written on it is the Warfstache Tonight logo. As will all the WAIA’s will once production starts. This one is merely the prototype.”

Dawktrap narrowed his eyes as he looked the thing over. On the one hand, it looked like it might fall over at any minute. On the other hand, Freddy had once looked that way too...

“Why did you even make this?” Dawktrap asked.

“I was inspired by this delightful little pizzeria I used to frequent.” Wilford said. “Before I was banned for pushing children off the slide. Which I could hardly be blamed for, the little devils wouldn’t listen to me when I told them that I was king of that slide. Anyway, I took that inspiration and created this dream here.”

“More like a nightmare,” Dawktrap muttered.

The animatronic suddenly began to spark and twitch and make horrible noises before it lunged at Dawktrap. Dawktrap drew his knife and prepared to defend himself, but then Wilford was pulling the animatronic back.

“Whoa! Down boy!” Wilford said as the animatronic began to smoke and spark some more. It finally fell still again. “Try not to refer to him as anything that contains the word ‘nightmare’. He's a bit touchy feely about being insulted...”

“Yeah, well he still needs to go,” Dawktrap pointed at the door. “Gone. Now.”

“Dawktrap-”

“Gone.”

“I really don’t-”

“Gone.”

“He’s just a baby-”

“Gone!”

“Well, it doesn’t matter what _you_ say,” Wilford gave a smug grin. “I already got permission from Dark to store him here. So my little baby boy is staying. You will just have to deal with it.”

“I will,” Dawktrap’s eyes began to glow. “With my knife. So _keep it away from me...”_


	39. Momiplier Makes an Entrance 3

“Oh, look at you,” Ms. Fischbach smiled at Bing. “You are...” 

She trailed off uncertainly, making a ‘hang ten’ sign with her hand. 

“Not quite,” Bing smiled back at her. “Skateboarder.” 

He nudged the skateboard at his feet with his toe. 

“Oh!” Ms. Fischbach looked at the skateboard. “Oh, you do tricks? The flips and jumps?” 

“I can do some pretty cool stuff with this,” Bing said, getting on his skateboard. 

“Everyone seems to be getting along,” Dark said as they watched Bing do a few tricks. 

“Good,” Mark sighed in relief. “I was worried someone might scare her off.” 

Ms. Fischbach laughed as Bing helped her balance on the skateboard. He carefully pulled her forward a bit and then helped her down. 

“Mark, I like him,” Ms. Fischbach pinched Bing’s cheek. “He’s adorable!” 

Bing beamed at the praise, looking as if this was the best day of his life. 

“Finally, someone small like me,” Ms. Fischbach said when she met Erik. “Everyone is so tall here.” 

She pulled Erik into a hug and the ego smiled. He quickly returned the hug, pressing his face against her shoulder. This was a real hug. A mother’s hug. A hug that he hadn’t felt since his mother had died... 

“It’s n-nice to meet you,” he said, finally letting go. “I’m Erik.” 

“You are so cute,” Ms. Fischbach said, patting Erik’s shoulder. “Like a puppy. I just want to pet you and give you cookies.” 

“I do like cookies,” Erik blushed softly. 

“Oh, I’ll come over and bake some,” Ms. Fischbach smiled. “I can bake all kinds. What kind do you like?"

“I’d like that,” Erik said. “I really would. Um... I like those M&M cookies."

It would be nice to have a mother in the house, Erik decided.


	40. Warfstache's Sweet Baby Boy 2

“I’m gonna stab that man,” Dawktrap growled.

Wilford had somehow convinced Dark to help him bully Dawktrap into testing out the WAIA... or the ‘flipping cursed animatronic that is probably going to murder us all’, as Dawktrap liked to call it.

_“You’re familiar with how animatronics work,” Wilford had said. “You’ll be perfect. I can’t ask Google or Bing, they’re biased. You’ll give him an honest grade.”_

It was a simple enough task: respond to some questions, take note of what the animatronic said, report anything strange or violent...

And of course, Dawktrap had his knife for if the thing wanted another swing at him...

“Up,” said the animatronic.

“Up,” Dawktrap repeated.

“Down.”

“Down.”

“Left.”

“Left.”

“Right.”

“Right.”

Silence.

Dawktrap looked up from the doodle he was drawing on his little notepad to see that the animatronic had gone still.

“Hello?” He asked. “Did you die?”

He nudged the animatronic with his foot, but it didn’t move.

“Great...” Dawktrap rolled his eyes and began to notate how the WAIA had silent.

“A man goes to a party.”

Dawktrap looked up to see the animatronic’s lights were on. It was speaking again.

“A man... met... his friends... and someone new...” said the animatronic. “The man... was accused... of a crime. The man... saw... the new person fall. The man... saw... the new person... rise. I... I did not mean... to pull the trigger. It... was... an accident. Was... it... my fault?”

Dawktrap blinked, eyes wide. This... this could not be a feature. This had to be a bug. Something that Wilford did not plan or program into the animatronic. But then why was the animatronic saying these things? What was he trying to accomplish?

Even as Dawktrap thought about it, a harsh mechanical voice echoed through his memories.

_“I am the Candy Cadet... and now I will tell you a story...”_

Candy Cadet had been bad enough with his morbid stories. But this... this felt different...

“I...no,” Dawktrap finally said. “It wasn’t your fault.”

The light in the animatronic’s eyes flickered.

“You cannot view a memory on a broken screen,” the animatronic said. “And some screens never heal. Some things cannot be unseen. But if you so desire, you can accept your broken state. You can let it open your eyes wider. You can let the world around you fade into nothing... and then life will become a dream...”

Dawktrap blinked again, notepad sliding from his fingers.

“Potato salad!” The animatronic suddenly cried. It sparked and twitched and then fell still again.

Dawktrap let out a slow breath, mind racing. How was he going to explain this to Wilford?


	41. Momiplier Makes an Entrance 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For StayHydr8ted

“Oh hello!” 

Blank flinched when he saw Ms. Fischbach smile at him. He had come into the house to grab a snack, hoping he could get in and out without anyone seeing him. 

“I like your hair,” Ms. Fischback said. “So stylish. What’s your name?” 

“Um... I’m Blank,” Blank leaned away slightly as she got closer... 

But then he paused. 

There was something about her. Some kind of magic... It radiated with calm and warm vibes, which soothed Blank’s anxiety enough that he didn’t mind being in her presence. Still, she must have noticed his hesitation because she didn’t try to reach out and touch him. He was very thankful for that. 

“Blank,” she repeated. “I’m Mark’s mother. You look like Ethan! Ethan with the sexy legs.” 

Blank blushed at the indirect compliment. 

“He’s my creator,” he said. “I’m one of his egos, so it makes sense that I look like him.” 

“Well then you have sexy legs too,” Ms. Fischbach beamed. “And you are adorable. You make sure to eat well, huh? Ethan is always so skinny, I worry he’s not eating well...” 

“I will,” Blank gave a genuine smile. “Um... thanks, Ms. Fischbach.” 

He didn’t hug her, but he did place a hand on her shoulder. 

“Oh! Another handsome man with a fancy suit!” 

Phantom’s brow furrowed in confusion as he turned around and saw Ms. Fischbach smiling at him. 

“Um... hello?” He said slowly. “Who might you be?” 

“Phantom, this is my mother,” Mark said in a tone that clearly told him to not try anything with her. “Mom, this is Phantom.” 

“Phantom,” Ms. Fischbach repeated. “You have on makeup! It’s very nice. Makes your eyes stand out. Like a tiger.” 

“Well, thank you,” Phantom clearly picked up on Mark’s tone, so he wouldn’t be offering her any deals. He could still be polite, though. “You look very lovely too.” 

“Ah, sweet talker,” Ms. Fischbach chuckled. “Maybe you can convince Mark to wear more suits. He would be so handsome in them.” 

“I can certainly try,” Phantom laughed. 

She was certainly a very interesting woman...


	42. Momiplier Makes an Entrance 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For M4R4N14MH and Daydream_Fuel

“Who’s this?” MerEthan asked, perching on the edge of the the water. 

“This is my mother,” said Mark. “Mom, this is MerEthan, MerMark, and MerChica.” 

“Oh, doggy fish!” Ms. Fischbach pet Chica’s wet ears. “So cute!” 

“She’s my little bub,” said MerMark. 

“So no sexy legs for you?” Ms. Fischbach looked down at MerEthan. “Sexy tail instead! Do you like fish?” 

“Oh, we love fish,” MerMark said while MerEthan blushed. 

“I know a good recipe for Maeuntang,” said Ms. Fischbach. “I can cook it for you. It’s like spicy fish stew.” 

“Ooh,” MerEthan’s eyes widened and he looked like he might start drooling. “That sounds amazing, we’d love some!” 

“Are you trying to feed the whole house, Mom?” Mark chuckled. 

“Yes,” said Ms. Fischbach. “They don’t have their own mothers to cook for them, so I will cook for them instead.” 

“Mark, you mom is awesome,” MerEthan said. “You should bring her by more often.” 

“I would like to come around more,” Ms. Fischbach agreed. “Keep an eye on everyone.” 

“We’ll see,” Mark said. “Maybe...” 

“Another one that’s so tall,” Ms. Fischbach looked up at Madpat. “Why so tall?” 

“Fans like tall egos,” Madpat shrugged. “Mark, who’s this?” 

“My mom,” said Mark. 

“I am everyone’s mom,” said Ms. Fischbach. “I adopted all of you so that I can feed you and give you hugs.” 

“Hugs?” Madpat repeated. 

Ms. Fischbach gave Madpat a hug, and the ego tensed slightly. He then melted into her embrace and returned the hug. After a few minutes of them standing like that, Mark awkwardly cleared his throat. 

“Um... is he ok?” Mark asked. 

“Give him some time,” Ms. Fischbach gently pet Madpat’s hair. “He needs a long hug.” 

She quietly spoke comforting words in Korean while she listened to him softly cry into her shoulder.


	43. Momiplier Makes an Entrance 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For A_Plethora_Of_Peters and M4R4N14MH

“The Host... greets Ms. Fischbach,” Host said nervously. “And he apologizes for how he looks.” 

He was very hesitant to meet Mark’s mother since he knew he looked pretty gruesome. He didn’t want to scare her or make her feel uncomfortable. Mark had assured him that it wouldn’t be as bad as he thought, but Host was already having blood drip down his face because of his anxiety. 

“The Host understands if Ms. Fischbach would prefer to move on to a... different... ego...?” 

Host trailed off as he felt something on his face. Ms. Fischbach had taken some tissues and was wiping the blood off his cheeks. 

“You need to be careful when you are injured,” she said. “You could get an infection. Do you have bandages? I can help you change them. I’ve done it many times before...” 

Mark smiled as Host opened and closed his mouth a few times before he held his hand out and muttered under his breath. A fresh roll of bandages appeared in his palm, and Ms. Fischbach picked them up and helped Host sit down. 

“Sit, sit! I’ll change these out...” She said, already working on removing the bloody bandages from Host’s face. 

Host sat a bit stiffly as he felt the bandages finally fall away. He expected to hear some noise of shock or disgust, but... Ms. Fischbach didn’t say a word. She instead hummed softly to herself while she went about cleaning Host’s face and then wrapping new bandaged around his eye sockets. 

“There,” she smiled as she secured the bandages. “New bandages make everyone feel better. No more sticky blood. Only your handsome face.” 

Host cleared his throat while he tilted his face away. Mark stifled a laugh, seeing that Host was blushing. 

“Ms. Fischbach is very kind,” Host said. 

“You have a doctor here?” Ms. Fischbach asked. “I’ll yell at him for not changing your bandages.” 

“No!” Host looked up. “No, Ms. Fischbach doesn’t need to. It’s not Dr. Iplier’s fault, The Host just... he gets busy and forgets...” 

“Well, please try to take better care of yourself,” Ms. Fischbach said as she pat Host’s shoulder. “Promise me you will.” 

“The... The Hosts promises Ms. Fischbach that he will take better care of himself,” Host said slowly. 

“Good!” Ms. Fischbach smiled. “You keep your promise, I’ll ask Mark if you are. If you don’t, I’ll have to drive back over here to change your bandages again...” 

Host chuckled, hearing the humor in her tone. This had gone better than he’d ever hoped it could.


	44. Momiplier Makes an Entrance 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow, you guys are loving the Momiplier series. I might have to make a separate story at this rate.
> 
> For verse2wo and Tei

“Another handsome boy!” Ms. Fischbach smiled. “This house is full of so many handsome boys. And with a fancy suit too!”

Jameson smiled and gave a little bow.

“And so nice!” Ms. Fischbach swept Jameson into a hug. “Like a little gentleman.”

Jameson returned the hug. True, he wasn’t exactly following social etiquette, but this hug was far too good to just ignore. It reminded him of the warmth of his own mother. Her hugs had been amazing too before she’d passed.

 **My name is Jameson,** his text box popped up when they separated.

“Oh!” Ms. Fischbach looked at the text box. “You speak like a video game. That’s neat! Do you only speak like this?”

Jameson nodded.

“He’s mute, Mom,” Mark helped him out.

“You’re mute?” Ms. Fischbach held a finger to her lips. “That’s ok. It’s the ones who cannot speak who often say the most important things. You remember that.”

Well... Jameson had never heard _that_ before, but he really liked it.

“Do you have a girlfriend?” Ms. Fischbach asked.

Jameson slowly shook his head, looking confused.

“I know a very nice girl,” said Ms. Fischbach. “Very sweet. She can sign and she knows how to bake the most delicious pies.”

“Mom, stop trying to play matchmaker with the egos,” Mark shook his head.

“He is a handsome gentleman who deserves a good girl,” said Ms. Fischbach. “Unless he likes _other_ gentlemen. You know, her brother can sign too. He makes very good pasta...”

Jameson gave a silent chuckle. This woman was something else, but he could tell she had a good heart.

“You have food on your face,” Ms. Fischbach said. “Do you need help cleaning it?”

“No, it’s fine,” said King of the Squirrels. “It’s for my squirrels, they love it.”

“You have squirrels?” Ms. Fischbach asked. “Like pets?”

“No, they’re my subjects,” said King. “I am their king.”

“Well be careful,” said Ms. Fischbach. “Some squirrels got into my garden last week. They tore up some of my flowers. I think they are building nests...”

“It _is_ nesting season,” said King. “but you don’t have to worry about that here. My squirrels are very well behaved.”

“I can see,” Ms. Fischbach scratched under a squirrel’s chin. “So soft! You take good care of them. Like... a Squirrel Daddy.”

Mark burst into laughter while King’s eyes widened at those words.

_Squirrel Daddy?_


	45. ????

Attention!

The Momiplier series now has its own story. All new chapters going forward will be posted there instead of here.

Here is a link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29961594/chapters/73755426

Thank you all for reading. XD

**Author's Note:**

> If you like these stories please comment. Comments give me life! Also, I take requests if anyone wants me to write anything specifically.


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